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however, just for today i will look to find the humor in adversity. truthfully, this is an area in my life, where i truly suck. it is one thing to say, that i can find humor in a situation, and your mishaps are quite easy for me to sport the irony and the humor in, however when it comes to me? well let me just say, i take things far too seriously most of the time. this is also an area in which i am an excellent actor. often i act as if i see the humor of my latest pratfall, when inside i am seething. i mean seriously, WTF, how can this sh!t happen to me, after all i have done and who i am!
okay, before i give you the wrong idea, what i described above is my EXTREME reaction. i can and often go there and even dwell there. sometimes i can laugh it off by finding the ironic humor, as the ideal promulgated by this reading speaks to. most of the time, i fall somewhere in between, but closer to my EXTREME than the ideal. i am certain that as the adage goes: “this too shall pass.”
so i spoke of a member who approached me a few nights ago and was invasive of my personal space among other things. that boundary will be set, i am okay that i let myself be bullied by that person in this respect, in fact once i look at it, a very weak and fragile person, backing me into a corner is the height of ironic humor and my anger was not at the member but myself for allowing myself to be seen being backed up. yes, i know, it is all about how i look. my task is to stop it the next time, firmly and without any ambiguity and hopefully not pound the member into the ground. when i see the ridiculousness of my situation, it certainly is something i need to laugh about, i mean seriously, not holding my personal space, me?
the second part i need to address, is what that member feared the most, that i am holding a grudge over his part in a bit of ancient history. as i have examined this over the past thirty six hours i am quite certain that i am not holding a grudge or harboring a resentment, as they did what any using addict would do, throw someone else under the bus, to avoid accepting any responsibility for their actions. when i am approached again, i will let them know that i know what when down that night, their exact part in it and my current opinion of that whole shi!tbag incident, that too needs to be expressed, firmly and unequivocally. i am still trying top find a bit of humor in what happened then and there, and sometimes, there just is not any to be found. sometimes life is like that as well!
today?! well, today, there really are no biggies in my life. i did have two things i wanted to do typed in and decided that discretion is the better part of valor, neither of those concerns or feelings needs to be aired in public, even though this is really not all that public. no the humorous part of that situation, or this one, depending on how i look at it is that when i think no one reads this, and i really slam someone i certainly hear about it. when i think that everyone is reading this and it does not get any likes or mentions, i get all butt-hurt. honestly, i started this as a programming exercise and it has morphed into something else, namely a place where i can be a real a$$hole, let the world see me in all my assholishness, and move along. what this is really, is a place for me to write down what comes to mind, and see where it takes me over the course of the next twenty-four hours. today? well today, i will strive for the ideal, and may be a new TENTH STEP question, what situation did i find humor in today?
so off to the rat races and into the real world once again!

∞ DT ∞