ฮฉ it is difficult to let go of my expectations and accept life as it is ฮฉ
Posted: Thu, Jun 22, 2006 06:47:24 AM
but i like distorting the truth (for dramatic effect) and running from situations (so i do not get hurt), it is the way i have always been and i like it! so there! now on to something different like buying a new toy or chasing that piece of strange.....
sound way too familiar to me, in fact if it was not for the minimal amount of work i have across the span of my abstinence, it would be a line i could use with impunity today. in fact it is probably i think to myself at least once a day, maybe even more. i want life and everyone and everything in it to meet my expectations all the time and without hesitation. i do not want top wander from one seemingly random outcome to another, i want predictability.
of course, when i get predictability i whine and bitch that life is now way too boring and lacks spontaneity and variety.
you see, i suffer from a disease of unfulfilled expectations. no matter what happens, it will never be enough, exactly what i wanted, or soon enough. my disease if left untreated will always find the tiniest negative detail of any situation and dwell on it, until i expand it beyond any semblance of reality and work myself into a frenzy of feeling miserable!
there is a treatment for my disease and it is found in the program that gave me this new life. working the twelve steps with a sponsor, and being an active part of my fellowship, helps eliminate the symptoms of my disease. although not a cure, this program has certainly sent my disease into some sort of remission and make me an easier person to be around. life no longer needs to meet my expectations every minute of every day, in fact i am coming to a place where i like a little surprise or two every now and again. i am coming to accept life just as it is, and right now that means running off to take my shower so i can diligently take care of my responsibilities today!
sound way too familiar to me, in fact if it was not for the minimal amount of work i have across the span of my abstinence, it would be a line i could use with impunity today. in fact it is probably i think to myself at least once a day, maybe even more. i want life and everyone and everything in it to meet my expectations all the time and without hesitation. i do not want top wander from one seemingly random outcome to another, i want predictability.
of course, when i get predictability i whine and bitch that life is now way too boring and lacks spontaneity and variety.
you see, i suffer from a disease of unfulfilled expectations. no matter what happens, it will never be enough, exactly what i wanted, or soon enough. my disease if left untreated will always find the tiniest negative detail of any situation and dwell on it, until i expand it beyond any semblance of reality and work myself into a frenzy of feeling miserable!
there is a treatment for my disease and it is found in the program that gave me this new life. working the twelve steps with a sponsor, and being an active part of my fellowship, helps eliminate the symptoms of my disease. although not a cure, this program has certainly sent my disease into some sort of remission and make me an easier person to be around. life no longer needs to meet my expectations every minute of every day, in fact i am coming to a place where i like a little surprise or two every now and again. i am coming to accept life just as it is, and right now that means running off to take my shower so i can diligently take care of my responsibilities today!
∞ DT ∞