Some memes

a profound change that allows me to stay clean and more free from the self-centered fear that can bog me down. this is not something new, as it has been going on since i came to believe that i was an addict and took it to heart, instead of just mouthing the words. where once i was riddled with abject fear of the justice system, relapse, what others thought of me, and whether or not i would get caught acting out, today that has faded out of my life. oh for sure, it is not totally gone, although the justice system is pretty much totally removed, as i find that when i do not use, i do not commit felonies. i walk in the FAITH that if i continue to do what i have done, there is a good chance that i will continue to live less and less in fear, both the self-centered fear of not getting mine and the irrational fears that may plague me, when i go down the conspiracy rabbit holes, into which i stumble, from, time to time.
this morning, as i got up way too early, i decided to go with the flow, instead of rushing around to be out of the house by a certain time. what has occurred is that i am going to get my stuff done, way sooner than usual and be on my way, close to the start of football today. my laundry is almost done, i have run and i am ready to rock and roll, which is not how my Sundays usually go. i also woke up feeling a bit off, as if i should be pissed off about something and found myself apathetic instead. there certainly is plenty of shit in this world to be pissed off about, and the litany of evils could go on and on and on. it is not that i do not care, nor am i tired of caring, it seems today, as i go with the flow, it is more sane for me to just accept and move on. perhaps that is just part of going with the flow and getting on with my day off enjoying cigars, football and a caffeinated beverage or two, just for right now.

∞ DT ∞