๐จ the romanticized ๐ซ
Posted: Sat, Jun 21, 2025 02:23:07 PM
version of my story often focuses on those magic moments of solidarity with my running partners, even though i never partnered with anyone. a funny thing happened on my way to pound this out, this morning, i decided to take off a bit early to meet one of the men who call me his sponsor, before attending my home group. at the time, i thought nothing of it, but now, after the events of the morning, i am more than glad i deferred writing this until after i got home and had my lunch. as listened this morning, i got a sense of belonging, i realized, not for the first time, that i stay in recovery, because i have found my tribe. i take that for granted, most of the time, and when i snap back to reality, i see that it was one of my life goals to find somewhere that i fit in. somewhere, where i need not defend who i am, hide who i am, pretend to be someone i am not or keep everyone at arms length. recovery brought me to that place and it took a shit ton of just for todays, to realize that i had arrived.
this morning, at my home group, someone shared how the think and finally i got a clue as to why they did not seem to want to interact with me. i certainly did shit all over his grand project and even worse, in the end, it turned out exactly as i predicted. i gave up twisting about why someone would carry animosity towards me for so long, a long time ago, especially after i emerged from the fog of hiding my real self. i knew from his behavior, that he had not gotten over what happened, but it was no longer my stuff. today, he accepted a hug at the end of the meeting from me and although i doubt we will ever be good friends or even speak much to each other, i know that he may be on the road to letting go of his stuff about me. he is after all, part of my tribe, even though what and how he used, does not come close to looking like my active addiction.
as i get ready to deal with the rest of my day, outside my tribe. i will remember that respect and courtesy is what i owe the other members of the team of which i am a part. they may have majorly dropped the ball, but things will work out. diminishing their worth, by casting judgements, out loud, on their efforts, will not bring me more power, glory or accolades. all it will bring me to, is another admission of being wrong and gawd i hate owning when i am wrong.
just for today, i have a tribe that may not have all the answers, but certainly has more than enough experience to get me through the ups and downs of life on its own terms.
this morning, at my home group, someone shared how the think and finally i got a clue as to why they did not seem to want to interact with me. i certainly did shit all over his grand project and even worse, in the end, it turned out exactly as i predicted. i gave up twisting about why someone would carry animosity towards me for so long, a long time ago, especially after i emerged from the fog of hiding my real self. i knew from his behavior, that he had not gotten over what happened, but it was no longer my stuff. today, he accepted a hug at the end of the meeting from me and although i doubt we will ever be good friends or even speak much to each other, i know that he may be on the road to letting go of his stuff about me. he is after all, part of my tribe, even though what and how he used, does not come close to looking like my active addiction.
as i get ready to deal with the rest of my day, outside my tribe. i will remember that respect and courtesy is what i owe the other members of the team of which i am a part. they may have majorly dropped the ball, but things will work out. diminishing their worth, by casting judgements, out loud, on their efforts, will not bring me more power, glory or accolades. all it will bring me to, is another admission of being wrong and gawd i hate owning when i am wrong.
just for today, i have a tribe that may not have all the answers, but certainly has more than enough experience to get me through the ups and downs of life on its own terms.
∞ DT ∞