Some memes

that contribute to the work of carrying the message of recovery in my own unique manner. as i stepped out early this morning to help a friend after surgery, i once again all self-obsessed about him doing this to me. once again, i fell into my victim trap and once again, it took a minute to see how ridiculous i was being. part of my recovery is to help the still suffering addict, even when it is not about their recovery. he is certainly doing the best he can with what he has and me being petty, is certainly not how i see myself these days. it certainly does not create a whole lot of harmony inside of me or make me willing to build harmony in my relationships with my peers.
considering what i have on my plate the rest of today, i can see a bit of trouble ahead, as retail at times is still very challenging for me. i want to be one of the who give exemplar customer service, even though i do not really want to actually “serve” anyone. as silly as that may sound, and it more than a bit silly, i know that if i had my way, i would spend all day, watching football and playing on my computer. i chose to ask for this job, because i wanted to do something more than sit around and get fat and lazy. i watched others who retired fall into that sort of pattern and today i do not want to follow in their footsteps. what that means is that i also have to start doing my on-demand gig next week and see where that takes me.
back to the topic at hand, carrying the message in my own unique style. over the days i have been in recovery i certainly have changed what i share. i no longer share for the newcomer, nor do i paint a rosy picture of wheat long-term recovery looks like for me, today i share in a snarky, often irrelevant manner, making light of my failings but adding the hope that i can see where i have been,m i know where i am now and i have a clue or two where i may be going. that is certainly doing the best i can, with what i have, just for today.

∞ DT ∞