Blog entry for:

as i sit here and ponder what i am going to write this morning, i am still trying decide about the events of yesterday. i was invited to share my experience, strength and hope at a treatment facility last night. that part is not the unusual aspect of the event, no what was unusual was that i was facing a semi-hostile crowd of members from another fellowship, family members as well as clients of the facility. although i did my best to tell my story, without shading it with my usual disdain for some of the institutions that were a part of my early recovery, i never felt accepted by the entire crowd. so it goes, my message was not for those who had already found and locked into their particular form of recovery, no it was for the clients and their families, who have yet to be exposed to the message of my fellowship. what is really ironic, now that i think about it, what really went over like a lead balloon, among the many i launched last night was when i said the only promise my fellowship explicitly makes is that of freedom of active addiction.
so hoe does this all relate to making indirect amends? well what that audience received last night from this addict was certainly a different look. my stories of using and the insanity of using was kept to a minimum. i focused on what the disease of addiction was, and how it affected me from my earliest recollections until the present day. and i am certain more than one of those old-timers in the room heard something they were not prepared to hear. my message focused on the fact that since i chose the path of recovery, i have become a better man, one more aligned to spiritual principles and one who tries to repair and repay the damage i have done both now and in the distant past. it was a great service to be able to share my message and i now know that what i said, every single stinking syllable was what i needed to say, to help make amends to the world around me. i am now growing a bit more comfortable with what happened last night and am glad that i could be a part of that event. life is good today and i will continue to reach out to the still suffering addict that has yet to hear our message of HOPE!

∞ DT ∞